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The following exercises were taken from the book called GATEWAY TO HAPPINESS by the noted Rabbi Zelig Pliskin. The stuff REALLY WORKS! Please don't forget to vote if you feel this guide has been helpful to you.
TEN RULES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
By Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
1) Keep your main goal on "giving" rather than "taking." Whenyour goal is to give your partner pleasure, you will always findopportunities to meet your goal. As a byproduct you too will gainsince people tend to reciprocate positive behavior.
2) Be careful to remain silent when your spouse insults you. By ignoring slights and insults you will prevent many needless quarrels. The momentary unpleasantness will quickly pass.
3) Give up unrealistic expectations. People come into marriage with many expectations which are not consciously expressed. By giving up on unrealistic expectations you will prevent frustration and anger. Don't expect your spouse to be perfect and don't make comparisons.
4) Avoid labeling those things which are not to your liking as awful. Try to find a positive perspective to things.
5) Think of plans on how to motivate your spouse to want to dowhat you want him or her to do. If your first strategy is not effective, keep trying different strategies. Remember that tactful praise is a powerful motivator.
6) Realize that the meaning of your communication is the response you actually get. Clarify your goals. If your method of communication is not achieving your goal, change your approach.
By keeping an eye on the main goal, which is to have a happy marriage, you will not become side-tracked.
7) Be willing to compromise. Be willing to do something you would rather not do in return for similar behavior from your spouse.
8) Don't blame or condemn your spouse for mistakes. Plan on the best method to prevent the mistakes from re-occurring without arousing resentment or hurting your spouse's feelings.
9) Live in the present. Whatever went wrong in the past is over. Focus on improving the situation in the present.
10) Keep asking yourself: "What can I do to have a happy
atmosphere in the house?" from Gateway to Happiness, (c) 1983, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Guide created: 02/08/08 (updated 19/07/09)
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